Parental Alienation Syndrome (a/k/a PAS)

 

Top actions of an alienating parent

•Doesn’t inform you of upcoming school activities (especially unexpected ones).

•Expresses no enthusiasm for fun events you’re doing with the child (vacations, amusement parks, etc).

•Limits child’s cellphone usage, so you’ll rarely get a call or text.

•Limits child’s email usage.

•Refers to you by your first name in their home (Dad becomes “David;” Mom becomes “Julie”).

•Accomplishes a post-visitation shakedown, extracting as much info as possible to find negatives.

•Hands the phone directly to the child when you call, avoiding even civil conversation with you.

•Pops anti-depressant pills (as many have a history of depression).

•Able to hold resentment towards young, innocent children (ie. your children from another marriage).

•Never calls you when the child is sick or taken out of school for a day or more.

•Teaches the child adult things to tell you, such as “I don’t feel comfortable about the duration of our summer visitation, Dad”.

•Teaches the child how to despise or hate another human being (that being you, of course).

•Labels themselves the “good” parent; label you the “bad” parent.

•Tells the child false stories about their childhood.

•Tells the child how he or she was victimized by you and your actions (while taking no blame at all for the divorce).

•Teaches the child how to lie to you (coating their little hearts with false malice and scorn).

•Diminishes your extended family’s worth.

•Says to you words like, “I always encourage her to see you;” “I’ve never told him you’re a jerk” while actually doing the precise opposite.

•Neglects to have the child call you for your birthday, on New Year’s Eve, or other important dates.

•Uses a cellphone as a leash while the child is with you.

•Never gets the child excited about seeing you.

•Reminds the child of all that he or she will be missing while with you and away from them.

•Inflicts his or her unhappiness onto the child (as alienators are deeply unhappy people).

•Attempts via a lawyer to reduce visitation to that even below family court minimum standards.

•Takes the child out of state without a peep, while demands precise details whenever you travel with them.

•Monopolizes the child’s time for hours on the phone (if you let them).

•Views any event in the child’s life– a distant Aunt’s birthday, a friend’s birthday, etc– as more important than time with you.

•Teaches the children from their current marriage to despise you.

•Is jealous of anything fun and memorable you do with the child (as they view the good times as a “threat”).

•Gripes about things you’re doing as a parent to the child, but says nothing to you about it.

•Has outbursts around the child (extremely emotional and dramatic ones).

•Lacks a filter; spilling any adult topic into the child’s head.